Mercado: For men only
 SOME lawmakers are making mountains out of molehills at the impeachment case. In abnormal psychology this is a manifestation of a hidden problem, which can be relieved or solved by penis enlargement.
For people with problems with size, and those similarly challenged, a solution has been discovered by an inmate of the national penitentiary, former health worker now a maximum security prisoner Ronnie Roquero (Phil. Star/Aug. 25). Roquero's penile enlargement program is now drawing solid (pardon the pun) success, although at a stiff (pun intended) price to its beneficiaries.
The prisons director, former police general Vicente Vinarao, out of delicadeza and his reputation, does not visit the penis enlarger alone to prevent gossips and rumors of his possible rehabilitation (the director).
Having discovered a certain gold mine in the inmate's improvisation to enhance male esteem, it was suggested that the bureau of prisons promote and market Roquero's method nationwide, only inside jails, of course.
As a new and viable source of prisons revenue, the medical fees from penile enlargement will bring considerable money to the bureau. Considering that conjugal visits are a part of the prisoners' rehab, the prospect of its propagation among those who can afford it will generate a standing ovation from all concerned.
Director Vinarao, to date, has not initiated charges of illegal practice of medicine against the culprit who injects smuggled petroleum jelly to willing recipients who have since confirmed actual and lengthy enlargement which, they attested, contribute to their well-being and the prevailing peace condition inside Muntinlupa.
Last Thursday, the Philippine Daily Inquirer reported a drama at the Cabinet ministers meeting in Thailand when the prime minister demanded to know who among the ministers resorted to a penis injection to enlarge their natural endowment. It appeared that several ministers who were reported to have been augmented were insulted at the question. One suspect stood up to ask, Mr. Prime Minister, point of parliamentary inquiry! Let us first settle some prejudicial questions. At this juncture, the prime minister moved that the ministers be subjected to a physical check-up to verify the finished products. The health minister volunteered to conduct the ocular probe, first by the form and substance of the altered objects.
Who had his penis enlarged? Prime Minister Thaksin asked, casting suspicious eyes on a suspect. Having received no answer, neither an objection, the Ministers meeting was declared adjourned.
A book on male sexuality has a thesis that loud and boisterous persons have small to moderate-size penises. You can have your suspects among the congressmen who suffer from this syndrome. When I read that proposition I deliberately modulated my voice for fear of being discovered.
It was reported, moreover, that owing to their improved penile appearance and corresponding performance, wives of the injected inmates started a rather high-visitation rate, making use of the conjugal visit more often when they usually come on a semestral basis for some, and only once a year for most, a prisoner confirmed.
What is good about the Bilibid enlargement system was that, unlike enrolees who paid installments to CAP or Pacific Plans for educational benefits, the inmates were charged on a cash basis. Like certain congressmen who traded their position on the impeachment with hard currency.
Roquero's intrusion to and experimentation of what matters most to males is a counter-culture move against modern cosmetic surgery on the female body. If our women resort to breast enlargement, facelift, botox, Thermage, skin bleaching and other forms of invasive intervention, like the Belo Medical Clinic does, why not a similar penile development assistance program (PDAP) for men?
My wife, although past her PMS, may be happy to know if I would avail of any plan (PDAP). Newsmen usually find sponsors to their basic and extra-ordinary needs. If Congressman Rey Aquino can find a way to use his PDAP for my purpose, I should be very happy. I may even change mind about him and, if the enlargement is good enough, will even risk double registration to vote for him when he runs for city mayor of San Fernando.
With the rising fuel prices (to save on cost), instead of petroleum jelly, make mine a silicone injection, Dr. Rey.
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